|
07.01.02 P Crack Outbreak P Bloomers P Bad Driver P Caution P Wild Bears P Gummi Worm P Good Sushi P Nice Dentist T Jokes T More Jokes T Even More Jokes T Mail Bag P=Pic | T=Text ------- Current Home Bacon Archives Bacon FAQ ------- Keep sending me the funny crap, rob@ilovebacon.com ------- If you're looking for nudity, check out bobblers.com |
|
on ilovebacon.com |
|
submitted by: DribbleGlass.com More Jokes BLOOD TEST "I have good news and bad news," the defense attorney told his client. "First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene." "Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is only 180." MATH Miss Smith was teaching her class math. She asked, "Johnny, if your father earned $100 and gave half of it to your mother, what would she have?" Little Johnny replied, "A heart attack?" LUCKY A guy struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar. After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed. "Say, how hold are you, anyway?" the guy asked. "Thirteen," she replied with a shy smile. "Thirteen? My God, girl! Get those clothes back on at once and get the hell out of here! Are you crazy?" he thundered. Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the girl smiled and said, "Superstitious, huh?" HOW YOU CAN TELL Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married? A: There is dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck. PRAYERS One night, Joey's father is walking down the hall to go to bed, and he hears Joey saying his prayers before bedtime. "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Grandma, goodbye Grandpa." The father doesn't think anything of it, until the next day, when the Grandfather drops dead. Two weeks later, he again hears Joey saying his prayers. "God bless Mommy and Daddy, goodbye Grandma." Sure enough, the next day, Grandma drops dead. A week later, the father again hears Joey's prayers. "God bless Mommy, goodbye Daddy." Now the father is really worried. He goes to work the next day, but can't get anything done, because he's afraid he's going to drop dead at any moment. He stays at work late into the evening, afraid that if he goes home, he'll get in a car accident, or have a heart attack once he gets there. Finally, after midnight, he drives home, thinking, "I made it, it's after midnight, I'm not going to die." When he gets home, he apologizes to his wife, telling her he had a really bad day at work, and that he had to work late, and he's sorry for making her worry. She looks at him and says, "You think you had a bad day? The mailman dropped dead on the doorstep today!"
ED NOTE: Find more jokes at DribbleGlass.com
|
|
House Cleaning In San Diego A Perfect Shine Cleaning is San DiegoÕs premier cleaning company for ALL your cleaning needs. Bacon Salt Everything should taste like bacon! Buy some online today!
|
|
The links on the left or the Next/Back links on top will get you to the new stuff. To get to the old stuff check the Archives. ilovebacon.com is updated every weekday around Midnight Eastern
All submissions become property of ilovebacon.com.
By submitting you warrant that the submission is, to the best of your knowledge real and not staged and
that the photo has not been digitally altered.
In addition you maintain that the submission in no way violates copyright or infringes on intellectual property laws.
|